well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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