ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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