Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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