I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
