If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
