Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
