Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize