I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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