This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
