she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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