You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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