That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
