just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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