I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
