try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
