He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
