He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
