i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
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