screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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