No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
