Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
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