I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
