Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
