Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
