Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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