Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
