either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
