just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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