You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
