We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
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Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
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