my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
