so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
don't judge my taste in strippers
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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