Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
