dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
