Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize