I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
