my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
