..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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