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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
