It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
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so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
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got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,