you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun