Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry