Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.