He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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