Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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