Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
