You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
