i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
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Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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