I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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