Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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