Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
