Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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