Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
