I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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