my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
