What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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