I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
