"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
