Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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