i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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