apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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