Texts From Last Night

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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!

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  (757): She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!! http://tfl.nu/gype
  Replies (5) Good night (2247) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.

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  (518): Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird. http://tfl.nu/mxsq
  Replies (8) Good night (693) Bad night (2136)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.

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  (678): Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce. http://tfl.nu/g2ub
  Replies (4) Good night (3387) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.

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  (702): She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note. http://tfl.nu/7aam
  Replies (9) Good night (4754) Bad night (842)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  My mouth holds just enough water for my bong

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  (410): My mouth holds just enough water for my bong http://tfl.nu/u9dn
  Replies (7) Good night (2142) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.

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  (920): He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer. http://tfl.nu/1gb8
  Replies (1) Good night (1707) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?

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  (513): Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far? http://tfl.nu/e2iz
  Replies (7) Good night (2680) Bad night (966)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT

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  (903): EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT http://tfl.nu/usnf
  Replies (14) Good night (7514) Bad night (1068)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Do you want cuervo gold or silver?

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  (847): Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight? (262): Do you want cuervo gold or silver? http://tfl.nu/7twk
  Replies (11) Good night (3306) Bad night (682)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.

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  (847): I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic. http://tfl.nu/aejw
  Replies (8) Good night (1206) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (208): View more from Idaho

  Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!

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  (208): Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!! http://tfl.nu/fdif
  Replies (11) Good night (1314) Bad night (533)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.

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  (407): I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy. http://tfl.nu/m02m
  Replies (3) Good night (1020) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.

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  (270): I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony. http://tfl.nu/dln2
  Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone

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  (484): I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone http://tfl.nu/t0ck
  Replies (1) Good night (402) Bad night (591)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out

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  (443): i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out http://tfl.nu/wy5k
  Replies (2) Good night (442) Bad night (276)

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