He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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