I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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