theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.