The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
