Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!

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  (248): Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count! http://tfl.nu/jr1g
  Replies (5) Good night (951) Bad night (859)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby

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  (757): if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby http://tfl.nu/8o91
  Replies (87) Good night (10779) Bad night (2018)
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  (408): View more from California

  I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible

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  (408): I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible http://tfl.nu/my4k
  Replies (17) Good night (8534) Bad night (1386)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that

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  (856): dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that http://tfl.nu/vsra
  Replies (34) Good night (5874) Bad night (1291)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.

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  (513): I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand. http://tfl.nu/20vi
  Replies (9) Good night (929) Bad night (3431)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes

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  (801): Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes http://tfl.nu/lgb8
  Replies (4) Good night (4162) Bad night (1038)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting

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  (804): Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting http://tfl.nu/9m8j
  Replies (5) Good night (4062) Bad night (1167)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?

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  (425): Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina? http://tfl.nu/gdbr
  Replies (20) Good night (4020) Bad night (1049)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.

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  (719): I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon. http://tfl.nu/f6i1
  Replies (6) Good night (1906) Bad night (645)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape

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  (250): im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape http://tfl.nu/bk86
  Replies (1) Good night (866) Bad night (1050)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.

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  (203): How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things. http://tfl.nu/sk0c
  Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (954)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me

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  (276): I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me http://tfl.nu/m1mj
  Replies (1) Good night (1071) Bad night (423)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....

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  (613): He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad.... http://tfl.nu/p0ok
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (849)
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  (716): View more from New York

  My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.

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  (716): My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline. http://tfl.nu/yjcz
  Replies (2) Good night (220) Bad night (607)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.

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  (505): So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please. http://tfl.nu/kbhd
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (185)

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