I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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