No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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