Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
