You really coming over, don't trick.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize