Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
