Where did you get a picture of my penis
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
