Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.