I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.