I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize