At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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